mastering purpose : define it

An Entrepreneur’s Struggle With ADHD: Read Before You Judge

There’s something I heard recently that precisely describes how I feel as a person: the smartest, the dumbest, the most motivated, and the laziest person in the room.

Last year around March I was diagnosed with ADHD.

It sounds strange to say that I have actually been diagnosed with something. A disorder. Something that the world of doctors and researchers describe as both a ‘lack of attention’ and ‘hyperactivity’.

This is not a lesson or lecture about ADHD, what it is, or why you should feel sorry for me. Or, even the fact that you should try to understand.

Being an entrepreneur (and admitting it) is one thing. It’s a part of you that decides to venture for it all — the freedom, the control, the creativity. There’s a part of your brain and also a part of your heart that feels this is who you were meant to be.

The inventor, not the user of the invention.

The maker, not the person using the thing being made.

The creator, not the consumer.

After discovering the meaning of the word ‘entrepreneur’, I’ve slowly began to understand more of how it affects not just my thought process, but also my life. Including my family, friends, co-workers, etc.

It’s at that point I realized — I don’t feel normal. Why is it that I stand out at work among my peers? How can my personality be so different with numerous other people’s [personality] being the same?

In many cases, I’ve become the weirdo, the not-so-ordinary person. A guy who stands out in not just a couple places, but most places. I don’t feel that I can claim all places because it doesn’t seem to stretch that far.

To the point of the title: An Entrepreneur’s Struggle With ADHD.

As an entrepreneur, I know thinking outside the box is a must. I know that working through struggles, troubleshooting, and making it to the other side is the every day life so to speak.

Even as an entrepreneur I looked at others with so-called ‘ADHD’ as a misunderstood effect. An effect of kids not getting the right daily playtime, being forced to sit in class instead of be creative, or even watching too much TV or getting too much screen time.

My notion was that kids were the most affected by this disorder. I didn’t begin to step into the fact that adults experienced it too.

Bring in the diagnosis.

So one of the processes that take place when trying to find out whether or not a person might have ADHD is testing. This is just part of it, not an all-inclusive decision maker.

Through computer testing, paper testing, and other questions, it was decided that I (w/99% accuracy) have ADHD.

AKA: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder predominately inattentive (ADHD-PI)

So as ‘not believable’ of a disorder as I thought this to be, here I am diagnosed with the condition.

It’s been a long year, both mentally and physically trying to understand more about the disorder, and whether it’s actually real or not.

Yes, I’ve been prescribed medicine which I’ve trial and errored with. Different doses, different pills, multiple-a-day, one-a-day. Yet, one thing still remains — the disorder.

Medicine is not a cure, but a treatment. So my brain still continues to have this developmental dysfunction daily.

I want to expand more on this topic in another post, but for now, all I’m trying to say is being an entrepreneur takes a toll on everything you do and makes one feel as if they are at their max all the time. Adding ADHD on top of that [to me] puts it all into overload mode.

That’s why I haven’t written on this blog in so long, that’s why I feel that I’ve lost connection with the outside world, and that’s why I’m writing this now. Even if no one ever reads this, it’s good to know I can spill my heart and mind onto [virtual] paper.


See all posts »